BY ANJALI SINGH

Mother is above all. God sent her because he can’t be everywhere. We believe it! As per our convenience we pray to mother and curse them out.

 Maa-behen ek kar dunga! Oh, I’m not saying this to you. I heard it from a kid fighting with his friends. So I thought to share it with you guys. Ae madarc**d…!!! (hey motherfu***r)  Just another cuss word. I heard it from an auto driver when a biker came in front of him. Chup kar bhaic**d…! (shut-up brotherfu**er) Does it sound odd? Ah, I said it wrong, right? You know what the word is. I don’t even need to correct it. Bhenc**d (sisterfu**er)- another ‘casual’ abusive word. I overheard an educated woman casually saying this to her friends. 

You must be thinking, have I gone mad or what? Probably, I do get mad when I hear people using such language. All these maa-behen ki gaaliya is a norm in our society. And we’re not okay with this. The problem is that many of us see no problem. Whom to blame? The way they are brought up, people they’re socializing with, or lack of education? It’s hard to tell. Even educated people use these women-centric abuses regularly. I swear, cuss words are so gendered.

It’s Normalized All Around The World !

Whether people are angry or having a blast, these are the most common words in their vocabulary. Even in the fights of men, women are abused. Or I should say especially in the fights of men. The use of these cuss words aren’t limited to men. Women use these words against women. Even kids on the street use these words in their regular conversation. However, swear words like father-fu**er or brother-fu**er are never used. Why are all their swear words demeaning to women? This clearly shows how patriarchy and sexist society perceives a woman. And how most of us are encouraging this misogynistic society.

Why Are Our Genitals Abuse Worthy ?

Some people talk so fluently using these gaalis. I wonder if they have a Ph.D. in it. Even ‘MF’ is enough to interpret what it means in texting. It’s terribly normalized! This is not where the gaali ends. Women’s body parts are also a part of their gaalis. Especially their vagina. You can easily fill in the blanks if I ask what’s after- Teri maa ki… or teri behen ki. Even in movies and serials we see actors using these swear words. This kind of abusive language is a violation of women’s bodies and their reproduction.  

Although we’ve never heard anything like- tere baap ki or tere bhai ki (your father’s or your brother’s). I’m not asking for such cuss words to exist. But I’m questioning the existence of maa-bhen abusive slangs. Such people who’re so obsessed with these gaalis may think they own women. Using such swear words doesn’t make you more of a man. It simply questions your character and manners. 

Make It Stop !

No matter how angry, happy, or sad someone is. Women aren’t supposed to get abused for it. It seems normal to many and that’s the real problem. Even if you’re not targeting a particular woman in your abusive language, it’s still barbaric. Find new cuss words to radiate your emotions if swearing is your way to express yourself. 

The least we can do is make people feel ashamed of using such cuss words. They all know what these words mean. Some may say, we don’t mean it when we say. We’re just used to it. But that’s not an excuse for derogating women through vulgar swear words.

This needs to end or we need to add more male focused gaali to level the playing ground. Like the saying goes, ” When you can’t beat it , join it” only for the better !