BY ANJALI SINGH
“Are you a virgin ?” Have you ever come across this question? Well, before this society builds a bridge of sanskar between you and your desires, I want you to have a minute for yourself and realize that you don’t have to kill your libido to be a “Sanskari Nari”
Pre-Marital Sex, Still A Taboo
Having sex before marriage is against our sanskars, that’s what society has taught us. Because when it comes to marriage, most men prefer virgin brides. If you’re not a virgin, no men will accept you however the same men can have sex as many times as they want. Double standards, right? Society has been gender-biased for ages and there’s no surprise that this society holds many theories when it comes to the virginity of a woman. They link our values, morals, cultures, and even upbringing with our hymen.
Have you ever noticed how a man becomes a “stud” for having various relationships? And if it’s a woman then the word becomes “slut”. Women of color are often called names for having physical relationships with men if they don’t have the label of marriage. Basically, the label of marriage is often seen as a granted permission to lose our virginity. Pre-marital sex is still a taboo and frowned upon by most societies which are depriving women of their sexual needs. Virginity is not a treasure that makes you rich in values. Also, it’s not something to preserve till the time you get married. It must be your personal choice, with whom, when, where, and how you want to make love.
The Purity Myth
You must’ve heard this line, “your izzat is in your hands” but I feel for patriarchy our izzat is no more in our hands then where is it? Yeah! You guessed it right. A part of society even links the word “purity” with our virginity. Now if you’re wondering what purity has to do with your virginity then let me tell you, NOTHING. A woman of color is disgraced by some people when she doesn’t bleed after having sex for the first time because such people lack knowledge. An intact hymen doesn’t tell anything about purity or virginity.
If you ever come across anyone who says, a broken hymen tells about virginity please ask them to go back to school and study the biology of a female body.
We’ve never been told how important it is to explore our sexual desires and needs, instead, we’ve always been confined by gender and social norms. Knowing what you want doesn’t make you unethical. We’re living in the 20th century and all we expect is a better perspective. A woman’s virginity is not a matter of anyone’s concern. We know what makes us sanskari, I hope you know what makes you.