BY NEELAM CHAUDHARY
Society has an immutable thinking that being a daughter in law, a woman should take care of everything . But you have to change this societal oppression. Every daughter in law wants to see a good mother, a friend and a person in you who can understand her. It’s a saying that a daughter in law cannot be perfect by herself. A beautiful mother in law helps her become one.
Make a strong relationship with your daughter in law. As a woman you can easily understand her, if you want. If she is a working woman then you have to understand her constraints.
Think about it :
Did you expect your son to manage household activities after finishing all the office work? Then, how can your daughter in law manage all household chores alone with her professional life? Try to pamper her like you would your own. It is essential to change this perception of submission.
Brown Woman’s Guide To Bahu Problems:
- Be kind to her and ask her “how was her day at work”?
- Try to delegate tasks to each member of the family. Don’t assume it’s her responsibility.
- Try to build a positive relationship with her.
- Learn to appreciate her for doing household work.
- Try to be a good friend to her. So she doesn’t hesitate sharing her issues with you.
- Remember she learns from you . You have the power to break the chain of abuse!
- Support her publically and side with her when nosy aunties try to take her down.
- Remember you too were once a bahu.
Putting pressure on your daughter in law can negatively affect her mental health. As she is a new member in the family, she probably already feels isolated. Making her feel loved or a part of the family does not mean you lose your authority. Having her opinions in family matters allows her to feel valued and accepted. Hiding the ‘almera’ keys from her will only make her feel untrusted.
Just understanding that she has dreams and a career can help oodles. Societal impressions of the Saas dominance is outdated, immature and damaging. Start treating as you would your own daughter, your own self (you were once a bahu too). This tried and tested method is the key to a happy home and healthy family.
On a lighter note, it may help with those hypertension test results as well !