Is Child Care Gender Neutral In Desi Households ?

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Apparently women are the best caregivers in the world. Only she has the ability to sacrifice herself for the family she is born into. Women don’t necessarily have aspirations, their greatest fulfilment is child rearing . OR is it ? 


In brown culture, we hear countless stories of moms giving up their education or jobs.  We are the ones who make those sacrifices for our families. Society imbues us to assume that the role of nurturing is ours to play. We are told we have the will to fight and overcome any challenge due to our maternal instinct. However, this certainly does not mean it is obligatory for mothers to handle kids. Even men turn to women with similar expectations. Our life’s main ambition is the administrative duty of maintaining the report-card of the child both partners have given birth to.

Motherhood As A Challenge For Women of Color

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When all the fun is over. We step in and take on the role of motherhood. A role which is hard to fill amidst jobs and other household responsibilities. But we are told that we are naturally created to nurture a child. Being a mother comes at this cost and it leaves us women overwhelmed. 

Brown societies decide our job description . Cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, playing games, planning activities are top of that list. Self care, career and mental health are never in the picture. For generations we have taken this and passed it along. Overwhelmed, sad, lost and isolated. Scared to voice our concerns, because society is ever ready to hush us. 

Husbands Are No Piece Of Cake !

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Despite the challenges decided by our male dominating society , we mothers handle it all. Expecting a little help from our husbands is unheard off. A man doing chores ? Shocking, right ? 

Its our job, and we are created for this highest purpose. Our husbands remind us every single day. We are sweet talked into believing this to be the natural order of things. Our in laws and mothers themselves say, “ Only us women have the higher ability to be caring and be nurturing”. 

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What’s worse is that husbands add on to this.  Especially if they are providers and women are stay-at-home moms. It’s uncanny how men are dependent on women for basic needs such as feeding themselves. Do you see a difference between an infant and a man child? I don’t!

However, there is another way . On the contrary to these submissive notions, I have witnessed a real superhero like no other. My mom is a working woman. I’ve seen her managing home and her job single handedly, even though both my mom and dad have equal pay. 

This has taught me my rights, this has given me my voice! Hopefully you will find yours too !