BY DIVYANSHI PUNDHIR

Domestic violence has been disregarded by our society. It is labelled as a personal matter. From families to perpetrators they make us think this is a personal matter. It should stay inside the house they say. It will be bring disgrace they say. Why spoil the family name they say. They say a whole lot just to stop us from getting help.

But the truth is

It is not personal. It’s very personal to our bodies and minds and it needs to be heard!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE- PHYSICAL OR BEYOND? 

Domestic abuse, often known as “intimate partner violence,” is a pattern of conduct intended to obtain or retain power and control over an intimate partner in any relationship. Abuse is described as acts or threats against another person that is physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or psychological in nature.

Domestic abuse may affect anybody, regardless of age, colour, gender, sexual orientation, faith, or socioeconomic status. Women and children are the frequent targets of domestic violence. 

You are not the reason, You are never the reason. Don’t assume it is just a slap , a kick or an abusive word. Don’t misjudge financial control as your weakness. Do not assume that it’s your attitude, your laziness or flirty eyes. It’s just not your fault ! Believe this !

RECOGNIZING THE PATTERN OF VIOLENCE

You might recognise this pattern if you’re in an abusive relationship:

Your abuser threatens you with violence, Your abuser assaults you, then apologises, promises to change and gives you gifts.

The cycle continues to repeat itself. Over time, the violence usually gets more frequent and intense. The more time you spend in an abusive relationship, the more physical and mental damage you will suffer.

UNLOCKING EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE 

Constant criticism, demeaning one’s skills, verbal abuse, hurting a spouse’s connection with the children, or refusing to let a partner visit friends and relatives are all examples of emotional abuse. 

Psychological abuse includes intimidating others, threatening bodily damage to oneself, a partner, or children, destroying pets and property, playing “mind games,” and isolating oneself from friends, family, school, and/or job.

YOU’RE NOT THE PROBLEM, THEY ARE !

Domestic abuse victims sometimes bear the brunt of the blame due to cultural stigma. You may be hesitant to seek counselling because you feel you are at least somewhat responsible for your partner’s violence. Keep in mind that you’re not the problem they are.

HOW TO GET OUT OR SAVE SOMEONE ELSE

In the case of an emergency, dial the local emergency number. The national domestic abuse hotline number in India is 181, while the women’s police helplines are 1091 and 1291.

An excellent way to start is by contacting a local women’s shelter or crisis facility. Legal aid, advocacy, and support services are often provided through these shelters and victim services.

For instance, this is one of the organisations working to provide shelter and legal counselling to abused women and children http:/​/​www.sevamandir.org. You can also reach out to your family, friends, and neighbours for assistance.

To assist someone who is being mistreated, you should make them feel at ease and assure them that they are not alone. You can do so by following the procedures outlined above.

Finally, we want to emphasise that if you are witnessing domestic abuse or are a victim, do not be afraid or ignorant; it is not something you can accept. It is a crime, and the culprit must be held accountable. No one deserves this, and we’re all here to help you.

“Trauma may happen to you, but it can never define you.” ― Melinda Longtin